I don’t know if I already mentioned that on Wednesdays I have been going to a Bible study. It is another part of my effort to be social and it is working out really well.
I would highly suggest finding a group of people who meet up and talk about things you like talking about. There is no stress becasue everyone is talking about something you enjoy, and the comradary is good for the soul. Not to mention you may learn something.
All of these things are good natural dopamine rushes. At this point I am starting to feel a light peace and an easiness of breath starting to begin. As I said yesterday, the bonds of the chains are loosening and the feeling of just enjoying without any tense feelings is truly gratifying.
This evening our topic was forgiveness.
I have a hard time understanding forgiveness becasue I don’t hold grudges. However, I wondered if maybe I was being judgmental towards other people, especially towards other people who claim to be religious, but then are self righteous and judgmental. (A case of sad irony.)
Despite the fact that this idea makes me a bit of a hypocrite, I mentioned it anyway because it is still really hard to shake the judgmentalness if you deep down inside you think you know more than the other people.
This kind of openess, I learned, is the only way to beat judgementalness. An act of humbling yourself before others it indeed a good way to get lifted up.
Another person at the bible study said that they had only just recently made headway on the same feeling. He had done it through meditation.
He said that it is just a matter of waiting, and realizing you personally aren’t doing anything but waiting, and then slowly you will feel the peace of God.
I liked that. I am always trying to do something to get there. It is hard to have faith that anything will get done by me not doing anything, but that is the power of God.
All of these lessons, I would not be able to have while behind the stony wall of desire. It is hard to explain why, but I am sure anyone who tries this dopamine challenge will feel the same.
3 thing to-do list
- Get up in the morning and do my stretches
- Do 5 hours of editing on my book
- Write the segue between part 2 and 3