I don’t have a good sense of where I am. It is usually becasue I am not paying attention (I am not focused). I have improved steadily at this over the years, but today I realized it could be a function of something bigger.

It is hard to see myself in some grand scheme.

I have a hard time seeing even the whole paragraph that I am trying to write.

While I was driving in the car with someone I also consider to be dopamine deficient I noticed the exact same qualities in him too.

It is weird when you see yourself in other people. Things you always knew but that didnt seem important seem to have a new pop. They jump at you. I gained a sense of immediacy about not paying attention to where I am in the here and now.

When dopamine is low in the brain it results in a cloudy floating feeling. This feeling can also lead to a sort of subdued anxiousness. It is easy to just go along, but your gut will always be telling you that it would be better if you knew what was going on.

The funny thing is that high dopamine alertness, can also look someone is just along for the ride. A person can be just as subdued and at peace, and have a healthy dopamine balance.

The difference is that they have worked and trained their senses to be alert. They have not ceded control and let their mind do what it wants.

It is time for me to take control of my brain.

It won’t be easy. I will probably have to start my day dream journal again, and hopefully come up with some new ways. I think keeping busying with activities and leaving no down time is will be key.